Dirty talk

An email popped into my inbox from Doormouse a moment ago.

Despite only signing up as a verified sex industry worker on Tuesday, he (or rather 'Joe, 24, slimmer's build') has already been inundated with calls from sickos across the land.

One caller last night wanted Doormouse to pretend to be a 'sweaty Ashley Cole after the match', another said he wanted to 'piss spunk up his arse', but the best of all asked if he could use Doormouse's 'man cunt as a cum bucket'.

They haven't all been that funny. 'Jeff from Kent' asked him if he was wearing frilly knickers and when DM said he wasn't, the guy hung up. It seems that the world of chat line operators holds no prisoners.

The money seems to be rolling in and I am supremely jealous that I don't have a landline. I'm popping round his place one night next week, so I hope he lets me listen in to a call, or better still, do one myself.

How deliciously unsavoury.