11 January 2007

Possible Au Revoir

The day has arrived and I am out of this pox-ridden office for good.

I have it on good information that a collection and card have gone round and in this company that means only one thing: There will be an insincere speech at the end of the day from the publisher and I will be expected to give one in return to the whole company.

When I was told all those weeks ago they were making me redundant, my initial reaction was, "Thank Christ I won't have to suffer the indignity of the leaving speech." But I think so much time has passed since then, that they have forgotten the exact reason why I am going.

I know that a collection has gone round as a co-worker 'casually' asked me yesterday what alcohol I liked, you know, just hypothetically. This surely means they have bought me something.

So, I am going for drinks at lunch to make sure I am suitably lubricated for my audience this afternoon. This could be the point I read out the
email.

Failing that, I might just confess my love for Mr Sexy Delicious and ask him to run away with me.

What I do know is that I am going to be away from a computer from today onwards and then it'll be on to pastures new and a new office.

I don't know how keen the new people are going to be on letting me blog all day when I should be working. Perhaps I should have established that with them in the first interview.

Until I am back in the land of computing and t'internet, I blog no more.

20 comments:

Redboy said...

Good luck with your new job. Hopefully next time you do your blog, it'll be informing us of how Mr Delicious declared his love for you @ the 11th hour ;)

mitzi said...

I hope next time you blog you will be telling us how you got drunk at your leaving drinks told everyone they are a bunch of CUNTS and that you threw yourself at Mr Sexy Delicious, by dropping to your knees in the toilets! Waking up in a strange place realizing it was Chip Fat John that you had gone home with and not Mr Sexy Delicious! Good luck in the new job.

M x

la fille mariée said...

You didn't establish the blog exception when you accepted the job? DB, what were you thinking? Aaaah. How long will you be away? I wish I could hear your speech today; I know you'll be brilliant.

JimmyD said...

WHAT?? You have no computer of your own??? Are you a SAVAGE?
I'm bummed. I just discovered your blog. It makes me laugh.
I'm sure you'll have things to report and will duck into a coffee shop or something, to keep us up to date.
Good luck and hope to read you again soon.

Han said...

I loved "the email". I wrote a similar, imaginary one to all my clients in my last job. My one regret is that I never pressed "send". Do it! Have a great last day. x

Tequilla Mockingbird said...

LFM- can I just say that I asked our dearest Denim Boy the exact same question. His 'blog policy' should have been outlined at the first interview.


Look forward to a debrief down at the D. I can't believe you are having your drinks at the D- I wanted to go to the B.You said the B and you lied.

I can't believe you will not be able to blog for a while. What else can I say? I'm gonna miss you, you cunt.

TM xx

Julia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julia said...

Oh no you MUST find access to a computer some how! I don't know how I will get through my monotonous working days without my daily fix of sniggering under my breath at the funniness of your posts whilst sitting at my desk pretending to work. Good luck and hope to see you blogging again soon! xoxox

Eileen Dover said...

Miss you already.

Ping me on my blog when you get back.

Hope you at least get lucky in the meantime.

fwengebola said...

You mean this entire blog was designed and written on company time? Ahahahahaha, brilliant! I should have such a job.

Oy, where did that sentence come from?

la fille mariée said...

TM, clearly DB needs more guidance from wiser minds like our own.

Fweng, you're the only person in the known blogosphere who doesn't blog on work time.

God... who needs Denim Boy... we can all just carry on the conversation here without him!

Joie de Vivre said...

oh no!! I'm gonna miss you big time ... the i want to see your pink bits mr sexy delicious speech got my vote, hope it worked.

pls let me know when you are back (you cunt)

czechOUT said...

when I left my first place, I'd been there 11 years. I was given a £730 TAG watch from my partners, and £100 John Lewis vouchers, with which I bought a Siemens kettle (2 years later).

When I left the next job, after 3.5 years of burn out I told my secretary NO collection, NO card. I had to hand over my pass about 4pm. HR were in the next door building. I realised I needed someone get me back through security in my building after that. I couldn't be bothered. I walked off into the sunset. I'd left some credit cards in my desk. I just cancelled them.

Ahoj

gayboydiary said...

Hey, I have just discovered your blog so don't stop writing! :-P Good luck with the new job!

GBD x

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Adios Amigo.

You'll be missed.

Marmoset said...

Fantastic. Hope to hear from you soon!!

I hope you told them that they were a bunch of Cunts. Or as you'd use the proper collective noun, a snatch of cunts...

Sleepless said...
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Jill said...

Darn! Just discovered your new blog. Hope your last day went well and that you return to blogging soon. :)

fwengebola said...

Get back to blogging, motherfucker. Your new life ain't that great, surely.

HM said...

DB come back - we miss you...