18 February 2007

All systems go

It was all very exciting coming back to Blogland earlier in the week. I spoke about my fabulous new job, my continued hang over life (did I mention that I'd taken 8 pain killers by lunch, just to 'take the edge off'?) and my still-single status.

But in all the excitement, there were a few things I forgot to mention. Like, the guy who sits opposite me in my new office is one of the gayest straight men I have ever met in my life. One of the very first things he said when I sat down on my first day was that he was a HUGE fan of Kylie Minogue. I mean, can you get any queerer? And then he starts talking about his 'girlfriend' and what they get up to at weekends.

I then find out that people in the office have actually met this 'Emma' character and no one thinks he even whiffs of pink. The only thing that makes me doubt his closet status is that he is the biggest sci-fi geek in the land. Practically every day he gets another delivery of something Trekkie-related and his desk is surrounded by bizarre comics and Daleks. Surely no self-respecting secret homo would be into that pile of shit?

I also forgot to mention that I was in the process of selling my car. Well, at 10am this morning, a lovely girl from my 'hood came round, took it for a test drive and plopped a few thousand pounds in my hand to take it home.

So, officially, I am now in a position to start looking at places in London.

Yippee! No more commuting. No more sitting on the train for hours in the morning. No more elaborate plans to avoid talking to The Bear. Fabulous.

Time to look forward. Where will I be living? Will I get a superb one-man pad in Crouch End close to Snow? Will I move into a cool flat-share scenario in Primrose Hill with some hunky, witty gayers? Or will I have to settle for a scab-infested bedsit in Balham?

The chances are, it will be none of these things. I have all this money on me and I am sitting in an internet cafe in Soho. Hmm, the shops are just around the corner. I could get a few pairs of Levis, some aftershave, tops from Topman and all sorts of Triga DVDs.

NO, I must be practical and use it for a deposit. That's what this has all been about.

Oh, sod it. I'm signing off and spending the lot!


JimmyD said...

I'm a self respecting homo who enjoys sci-fi. I do draw the line at bringing any related trinkets to work with me...
Hey. I have my addictions, others have theirs.
As for your living arrangement? Get a share for now. It'll get you into the city. Then start your plan of complete independence.

fwengebola said...

Ugh, a Trekkie and with a girlfriend?
What. A. Cunt.

And what's a Triga dvd? Wait, it's gay, isn't it? Oh shit, I just googled it. And now I've just seen zero-lady porn. A blowjob given by a pair of lips that has a beard around it? Bloody hell.
Can't you all just be happy gays without the actual sex?

You know, like you, Denim. Ahahahaha.

EmmaK said...

Goodness me...eight painkillers by lunch, can life be that bad? I love Sudafed, don't know if you have it over there, gives a lovely buzz. Not that I'm abusing prescription drugs or anything!! Glad to have you back. And please don't move to Balham, I'm afraid I'm a snob and most S London places don't really cut the mustard for me, 'cept for Chelsea of course!

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

8 pills by lunchtime? Are you trying to get into rehab to befriend Robbie Williams or something? I think he is in Rehab in the States so it might not work. But he is so v.hot. So i applaud you for trying (if that is the case)

I'm gay (not sure about self-respecting thou) abut I do like Sci-Fi - but I draw the line at watching it - I won't buy plastic toys or anything AND would never take them to work. I think for the protection of gay people all over the world - we should arrange for a hitter to take him out - just in case he comes out - there are enough negative stereotypes associated with homos - don't let him add to them. No I take that back - each to their own....

Anon Dirty said...

Adding a voice to the gay sci-fi likers.

la fille mariƩe said...

Oh come on! I've had crushes on dozens of gay men who also like science fiction!

Oh... that's just sad, isn't it...

Tequilla Mockingbird said...

DB- this guy is gay. He's gayer than the day is long. He's Marvin Gay. And I love the way you put 'Emma's' name in inverted commas like, allegedly that's her name.

I think we both know it's really Eric.

If you are going to get a Triga DVD may I suggest 'Shoplifting Cunt' which is delightful and full of wonderful turns of phrase such as 'shag him like you shagged his muvva'

TM x